Who to trust in a relationship

Good morning, sweet friends!  I am so excited that we are starting a new series today!  We learned a lot through our nine weeks studying the fruits of the spirit and I hope you did, too!

This series will be a little bit different, but I think that you guys will really be able to keep up a little better than last time.  You can expect two posts a week for the next four weeks, and we will be talking all about different aspects of relationships! 

Don’t lose me here, single girls!  I promise that you can gain something from this series and WE promise not to completely leave you out!

This week Jessica and I (Nicole) will be talking about one of the most important aspects of a relationship.  Trust.

When I began to think about this topic, a lot of different posts filled my mind.  You could write a million different books on this one topic, but I decided to take the path less taken.  In order to truly and fully trust in the person you are with, you have to have greater trust.  A trust in the Lord.

This is a lesson that I’m in the middle of learning even as I type this.  My boyfriend has just graduated from college, he is in the process of finding a job, our relationship has become long distance, and I’m working to keep my head above the water in my sixth semester of college.  Things have become much different for us in the past few weeks and I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t worried.

What if he can’t find a job?

What if I don’t do well this semester?

What if we have problems now that we don’t see each other every day?

There are so many “what ifs” that I have that my boyfriend simply cannot answer.  He doesn’t know when a job will be available or when we will be able to get married.  When I place all my trust into him, I come out lacking.  Lacking answers, lacking assurance, and overflowing with doubt.  When I place this kind of trust in him I end up disappointed.  Why?

Because he isn’t who I should be placing my trust in.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

I think this verse is ultimately saying that the Lord is the only one who we can whole heartedly place every ounce of our trust.  Not only should we not depend on our own understanding, but we shouldn’t place so much trust in another human’s understanding, either. 

As much as we struggle with wanting to know what’s next or what is going to happen down the road, only the Lord can make that known.  No amount of trust in a man is going to make that clear.  The very next verse in Proverbs 3 says “seek his will in all you do and he will make your paths straight.”

Well, look at that.  When we seek His face, we are right on track with where we should be.

I am learning to trust the Lord first with my relationship.  When I lay my relationship and all my questions about it at his feet, I am able to rest in his peace.  I can take all the pressure off my boyfriend by trusting the Lord for my answers instead of Him.

Lord, help us to keep our eyes and our trust fixed on you.  You alone can know the desires and deepest worries of our hearts.  Give us the courage to take a step of faith in trusting your plan for our lives and our relationships.  Teach us how to trust you before we trust any other and show us when we’re placing trust in man before we are placing trust in you.

Amen

Is this something you struggle with, too?  Here are some verses about trust to reflect on.

Psalm 18:2

Psalm 37:5

Psalm 118:8

Love you guys,

Nicole

be right back!

Hey, friends! 

Don't worry, we haven't fallen off the end of the Earth, we've just taken a short break from Fearless after our last series!  I think you guys will really enjoy this next series.  It is much shorter than the last series with only two posts a week, so hopefully it will be a little less overwhelming for our readers AND us!

Look for us next week when we start a series on relationship!

Love you guys!

Fearless=Fear Less

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

[Ephesians 6:10-20]

Seek God for Strength

Very often we become weary and tired, whether its physically, mentally, or both. When we reach these states of exhaustion we become less in tune with God because we desire what we want when we want it; however, you have to fight against being negative, completely giving up, or putting yourself before others.

When you loose self-control it is like dropping ink into water, it spreads EVERYWHERE. That ink spreads throughout the water completely consuming the clearness with darkness. When you lose self control it spreads in your mind then you act out through an unwanted action or by speaking hurtful words. When we lose control, we usually don't bounce back because that "ink" is spreading quickly! However, if you find self-control and a positive mindset you can cap the "ink" from spreading!

Seek God for guidance and ask him to help you control yourself, right when you are in a moment of frustration, anger, or temptation. The more you let God take control the less you become, and your problem becomes much smaller and looses its grip on you.

We all have to battle to be the best that we can be, and live out the lives that God expects us to live. Also, what drives me is that God is all powerful and He has the ability to pour self-control into you and give you a drive to keep you from falling short. You must always remember that you, and the amount of self control that you choose to use for yourself, will be evident to others around you.

I challenge you to live out James 1:19-21

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."

Much Love,

Jess

Still Established

Self-control is a funny thing. It looks so different for every person in every situation. When it comes to tools that people can use to establish self-control what works for one person may not work for some one else. For me (Jamie), prayer and patience is what I use. I pray the same prayer every time I feel like I will need self-control.

When I was a Senior in High School I was given a personal promise bible for graduation. In the bible is this quote that really hits home with me in the arena of sin. You see, self-control directly correlates with sin in the sense that one must establish self-control in order to avoid sin. The quote says this:

Keep me still established both in constant assurance, that you will speak to me at the beginning of every such soul sickness, at the approach of every such sin; and that, if I take knowledge of that voice then, and fly to You, You will preserve me from falling, or raise me again, when by natural infirmities I'm fallen. -John Donne

This has been a tool I use to help my mind and heart stay fixed on Jesus at all times. At the approach of every such soul sickness (sin) I go before the Lord and declare His righteousness. 

Another thing I've come to learn about sin and self-control is that being a Christian isn't enough. Being a Christian doesn't exempt you from a life of trouble and temptation. God doesn't promise a carpet on the race track or a bed of roses on the battlefield. But you can be "confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion" (Php. 1:6 NIV)

As long as you pray, have patience with yourself and declare that Jesus will carry you through your life, in times of temptation and in times of victory, then you will be fully clothed with the armor of God and no sin will keep you down.

Self-control is so so hard. I know. But you have to equip yourself with ways to maintain self-control in all situations. I urge each of you to take some time and really think of ways you personally can make sure you have self-control. This will look different for EVERYONE. Leave some of your suggestions in the comments section below, if you don't mind, because what you say may be helpful to someone else who hasn't quite figured out what works well for them.

I love you all and am so thankful to be on this journey with y'all !

be blessed, jamie

Having Self-Control EACH Day

Part of having self-control in your relationship with Christ includes having a daily quiet time. 

As Christians, we know that spending time with Jesus and time in the word is important if we want to continue to grow as believers. However, having a daily quiet time is something many people don't do. It's one of those things that we all intend to do, but it sometimes doesn't get done. As we begin a fresh year, let's work together on making sure this is a priority every single day. Let's have more self-control in this area of our life!

Why is having a quiet time so important? Let's compare our relationship with Jesus to a relationship with your significant other. If you and your sig. other spent 1 hour together each Sunday how much would you really know about one another? Would you feel like they cared about you and cared about what's going on in your life? How long do you think the two of you would last if that's the only time that was spent with one another? Not long, right?

Well, our relationship with Jesus is even more important! So many of us sit back during the week and ignore God. We go to church on Sunday and expect Him to completely fill us up for the week. Well, it doesn't work like that, just like it wouldn't work in the other scenario. Jesus demands our time and attention in order for Him to work in our lives every single day. He deserves more than our time and attention, and as His followers we are called to give it to Him.

For me, I want to do more for Jesus in 2012 than ever before! I wouldn't be able to do that if I didn't have self-control and spend time with Him every single day. If I'm not spending time with Him and allowing Him to speak to me, He won't be able to work through me to impact others around me. It all starts with us choosing to spend time with Him. 

Now, by choosing to spend time with Him every day you will probably have to make some sacrifices. You will probably have to wake up a little earlier, and you will probably have to make some changes to your normal routine.  Some people might be thinking they couldn't possibly get up any earlier, but what if you went to bed a little earlier each night? Try it people! I promise that if you choose to give Him more of your time, He will do more in your life and heart than EVER before!

Each day when you wake up you must choose to live for Him. What better way to do this than by spending the first few minutes of everyday in His word and in prayer?!?

Let this be the verse you read each morning when you wake up as a reminder to spend time with Jesus...

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 

Ephesians 6:10-18

So, friends let's commit ourselves to spending more time with Jesus in 2012! Wake up earlier, get out your bible and journal, make some coffee, and let the Lord speak to your heart in amazing ways! 

A great book to read daily is "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Each page in this little book holds amazing truths! There are many more great quiet time "helpers" but this has been my favorite! 

If any of you have further questions on how to have a quiet time please email us and we would be happy to help you!

I will be praying for each of you each morning that God speaks to you during your quiet time. My prayer will be that He teaches you amazing truths and that you become closer to Him than you've ever been. I know that if you use self-control daily and commit to doing this, you will be amazed!

Love you all, and happy New Year!

 --------------------------------------------------------------------

Savannah 

it all comes down to love

The topic of self-control could pretty much go in any direction you want it to. 

“Don’t do this”

Don’t do that”

“Be careful for this”

“Watch out for that”

All of those are phrases you will hear connected to self-control… or religion in general, if you ask me (Nicole).  The time I’ve spent in church and “in religion”, I have noticed one big thing:  There are a heck of a lot of rules and regulations and not enough love.

There’s judgment.  Plenty of judgment.  But, not love.

There’s condemnation, but not love.

There are long “you need to work on this” lists, but not love.

But, what did Jesus say about love?

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. “ John 13:34

Before we get going on this self-control week, I really wanted to make this point clear…

Jesus loves YOU.  He love YOU.

Not the you that you wish you could be.  Not the you that makes less mistakes.  Not the you who swears that you’ll change your ways.  He love you. 

He loves me.  In the middle of my mess, in the middle of my sin. 

The responsibility of us as Christians and as the church isn’t to be the “fill-in” judge for God while He sits in heaven.  That’s still HIS job.  Our job is to love.

Love is how the world will know that we belong to Jesus.

The posts that you will see this week aren’t to judge you of the sins that you’ve found yourself in.  They haven’t been written to nag you like a boring parent until you give in and do what you’re told.  But, they’ve been written to encourage you to live a life according the the freedom that we’ve found in Christ. 

I wanted you to know that we love you and we’re sinners just like you.  Sinners who need grace, love, and mercy just like you.

Sinners who have no place, I mean NO PLACE to judge you.

We want to learn how to love like Jesus loves.  And we’re learning a day at a time.

Here’s a quote that I want to leave you with.  It’s from a current book that I’m reading and it is incredible.  If you want more information or want to talk more about this, please email me (livelearnlovetogether@yahoo.com)! 

"We have fed the world a lie. They believe that a life with Jesus is about living within the lines. However, the truth is that God's will opens a world of possibilities that were previously unavailable to us. You were never meant to live as a slave or a soldier, but as a free man. Maybe we find it so hard to follow God's commandments, because we see them as commandments instead of as liberating truth." Craig Kinsley

Love y’all.

Nicole