Listen and Obey

Hey there my friends !! I hope that your Monday is off to a great start, if not just take a deep breath and keep pushing on :) ! It will get better only if you choose to move past the problem with a good attitude! 

We hope that you got something out of the relationships series, I know that I was able to take away a lot of truth from those posts.
On another note, the girls and I (Jess) have decided not to do a set theme for awhile.  We are just going to post about what the Lord is teaching us whether it be big or small. We are just like you and face struggles, temptations, and are fighting the good fight every day; so therefore, we want to share what the Lord is doing in our lives and what He is showing us through our own personal experiences that we encounter from day to day. 

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Listen and Obey

We all go through different seasons of life, but God never changes
he remains faithful and true! 
However, we all have a tendency to wander from God when we fixate our eyes on what we want without asking God if what we want is what he wants for us. Of course, you and I can say that we believe in you God because we do love and trust God, but there are many times that our desires overpower our faith. Does this sound familiar,let me just try to get this one thing, person, and or situation to workout my own way in my own timing. During this time you probably twist prayers and scripture to make them fit your own desires. I have done it, and let me just say that I eventually just fell and it hurt. Really bad. :(

Just today I was walking to church and the Lord showed me exactly how he wants us to listen and obey Him. A mother and her two sons were walking up to a gate, and she told them that they could run up ahead but to stop once they reached the gate. I was thinking to myself that those kids are not going to stop at the gate, they are going to dart on out into the parking lot. However, the two boys stopped at the gate. They were full of energy and I could see the anticipation in their eyes as they waited on their Mom to get up to the gate. They all three walked through the gate door together, but the youngest of the two boys looked at his Mom and said I am going this way with full intentions of doing it. He was SO ready to dart off, but his Mom simply said no we are going this way Son, as she pointed towards the building. The son followed without question. 

So why do I tell you this story ? To show that the Mom had some super parenting skills that we all need to figure out. Props to that Mom, but no the reason I tell this story is because God very often gives us the opportunity to run ahead; however, He expects us to wait on Him for further direction. As we run up ahead we might think that we have things in our own hands because things are going so well, but in actuality God has his eyes on you the entire time. God is always in control. 

When you reach the gate and you have to make a choice if you should go through or not, then you need to decide if God is walking through with you. You have to realize that God may have a different direction for you and may not want you to walk thorough the gate. You always have to seek advise from Him. 

If God walks you though the gate into a new opportunity, then you better follow his direction because you are in new territory. Do not run in the direction that your own selfish desires are telling you to go in, because it will not get you far at all. Just think if that little boy had ran off in opposite direction he probably would not have gotten far before he realized that there was nothing but empty space that he was running off into. More than likely he probably would have tripped and fell because of his desire to run away from his Mom's direction. Eventually, his Mom would have caught him and more than likely would have scolded him for his disobedience. The little guy would have felt guilty for not making a wise choice; however, he would have ended up in church because the Mom knew best from the beginning. So God is always going to get you where he wants you, but you decide how you get there. Are you going to make it hard on yourself or simply sallow your pride and follow and obey the first time He tells you what to do ? It's tough, I GET IT ! However, the little guy chose to obey and he walked into church and more than likely learned and had a wonderful time in the presence of our awesome GOD! 

If you are in a season that feels good and you are running along fine, then I encourage you to look up at God and give him thanks for letting you run free in complete freedom and happiness. Keep in mind that no Earthly thing or person can give you full contentment, only God's love can satisfy you completely. ["...They will fade away like a little flower in the field. The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements. James 1:10-11 NLT]

If you are approaching a new stage of life and the gate is open then you need to wait on God to walk through with you. ["If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." James 1:5 NLT]

If you are in the middle of a new or old season of life and you have been turning your back on God, then you need to stop and listen to what the Lord is wanting you to do. ["Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord." James 1:6-7 NLT]


There is grace for all the times that we run, and the great thing is that God is faithful and never changes. Keep in mind that God's love never runs out or gives up on us. Keep hope and refocus on God if you have not been close to him lately. 


"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love GOd and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 :) 

With love,

Jess

Communicating and Forgiving

I hope y'all were able to read Jamie's post on Tuesday about forgiveness. She shared so much truth, and no matter what the relationship is, you can apply this to your life!

I am also going to be spending some time on forgiveness today, but I am going to get a little more specific....

So, have you ever gotten into an argument with someone? Duh...we all have!

Think back to one of the many arguments you have had in your life...

Got it? Ok.

Who was the first person to surrender and say I'm sorry? Was it you, or did you hold a grudge and act stubborn? 

We have all fallen into the grudge trap sometime in our life. Many times we hold grudges because we are prideful and we don't want to be the one to say sorry. Other times, we may think we deserve an apology and saying sorry would prevent that.
 How did it make you feel to hold a grudge? I know for me, holding a grudge never feels good. It makes being around that person uncomfortable and awkward, and it certainly does not make a situation better. 

You see, being able to forgive is a huge part of having a healthy relationship. As Christians, we are called to forgive others, just as the Lord has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:22).

relationship + God = forgiveness

There is one word that comes to mind when I think about forgiveness and healthy relationships...
Communication

When you're in a relationship, communication plays a HUGE role. Without communication, there isn't much left. In order to have a healthy relationship you must learn to communicate your feelings to the other person. As women, that is not always the easiest thing to do. Sometimes I feel a certain way and I can't even to begin to explain why I'm feeling that way or even how I'm feeling. We are complicated, but that's how God made us. He wanted us to be the "feelers", and He designed us to be the ones that were sometimes more complicated. It's ok :)
However, we have to learn to try our best to communicate our feelings to others. If you don't express that you're upset about something, it's not fair to become angry when your husband or boyfriend doesn't respond. He can't read your mind, after all.

Being in my first year of marriage, I have learned the importance of good communication. Yes, it is sometimes frustrating to explain why you feel a certain way. But in the end, it's so worth it friends. The female mind is so different from the male mind. You will be amazed at how much your relationship improves if you just learn to communicate with one another.

With good communication comes understanding. With understanding comes forgiveness. With forgiveness comes a wonderful relationship.

I pray that each of you take time today and reflect on relationships in your life where you may need to forgive. Go to those people and tell them you forgive them. Pray that God will truly heal your heart from that situation, and pray that He will take control of those feelings. I promise you that if you give it over to Him, you will feel so much better!

XOXO,
Savannah

The Fight

Back in September I went to Mark Driscoll's Love Life conference. It was there that I was equipped with some knowledge about love and relationships that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I wanted to share with y'all today some of the things I learned--especially about forgiveness.


There were three main sessions at the conference, one of which was called The Fight. This session was all about how to handle a fight with your partner. Obviously no one wants to fight but it's something that is just inevitable at some point or another in your relationship. Even the strongest relationships will have disagreements at times. It is how you handle those disagreements that really matters.

In marriage sin is like trash, you have to take it out everyday. You have to know how to deal with your sin or it will kill your marriage. Sin can turn your marriage into several different things. The first being contempt, or disgust for your spouse. For example they could leave something on the counter and you just blow up over it even though it really isn't a big deal--the point is you don't like ANYTHING that your spouse does. The second is defensive, this is when you start defending your sin and you are defending it with more sin ("I wouldn't have cheated on you if you would have lost more weight", etc.) The third is stonewall, this is when one person leaves (drives away, leaves the room, tunes out/ignores). 


If you don't know what to do with the trash you will just create more trash. So what do you do with sin?? If you are the one who sinned you need to first repent (Romans 12). You need to walk in humility by the grace of God. Next you need to confess...talk about it, "I agree with God, I am wrong." When you confess you need to show contrition which is basically emotional brokenness from the heart. (confession without contrition is not true confession). And lastly, you need to change. If you keep sinning in the same way you are not repenting. You have to learn to want to be more like Jesus and less like yourself. 


And this is where I want you to really focus today, on the forgiveness aspect of fights. I think this is often times neglected because we are mad that someone has done something wrong to us, but forgiveness is such a key aspect to moving past the fight. 


If you are the victim of sin you have to forgive. Marriage either gets better or it gets bitter, and a lot of that has to do with forgiveness. Refusing to forgive someone only makes you bitter and allows them to have an emotional control over your life. We must forgive because CHRIST FORGAVE US. God didn't get bitter with us, he forgave our sins so we should do the same for those who sin against us. You can't receive forgiveness from God if you can't forgive others. It's really important to remember nothing and no one is beyond the grace of God (this is the difference in Christian and non-Christian marriages). Now all of this to say that it is obviously not easy to just forgive someone when they have hurt you badly, but it is important to remember that forgiveness is not approving, denying, or diminishing that sin happened. Forgiveness is not enabling sin to happen again (even if they never apologize to you you should still forgive. They will have to answer to God for not apologizing and repenting.) Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is not neglecting justice, you can forgive someone and still call the cops on them, take them to court, etc. if they are putting you or your children's lives in danger. 


Another aspect to the fight session was the idea that you should set ground rules for how you will handle things if (when) a fight should arise. These rules can include things such as no parents, no people around, not in front of the kids, not in public, etc. Sin is going to happen. Fights are going to happen. But if you build your marriage biblically and on a friendship and equip yourselves with the knowledge of how to handle such situations you will be able to make it through anything!


I just want to offer some encouragement to anyone who feels like they are having a hard time with forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice. We may not be able to choose to wipe away the hurt that someone has caused, but we can choose to cast off the bitterness, anger, and feelings of the need for revenge and justice. How? Trust in God, believe His word, cling to the cross, and turn judgement over to Him. Once we let God take over, we can start to let negative feelings go.  

xO

Real Love

“And you must love the Lord your God with all of your heart, and all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves whole heartedly to those commands that I am giving you today” Deuteronomy 6:5-6

That is what God commanded Jesus to share with us and he intended for us to do it !!! So the question is do YOU love the Lord your God whole heartedly or just when it is convenient for you to love him ?

Do you love God because it makes your reputation look better and present life to look as if you have a wonderful relationship?

Do you cry out to God and tell him you love him because you are in desperate need of his help ?

Do you think that you love God just because you have been told to do so all of your life, but really you do not even understand who he is?

Maybe you do love God for all of the right reasons, but when your faith gets pushed your heart grows cold and wants to run from God.

Lets face it, many of us have been singing Jesus Love Me since we could sing; so therefore, it has been engrained into us that he loves us, but do you respond to that love ?

Do you treat your earthly relationships with a similar attitude and not even realize it?

Many relationships look good from the outside, but if you really examine the other person you might question if you truly know his or her heart. The cute pictures on facebook and twitter posts are lying to others about the real depth of the relationship because you know things are not “picture perfect”. If there are problems in the relationship and you continue burying them and carrying them along then you are only setting your relationship up for failure.

If we ignore God and what he is trying to do in our lives, would you not say that you are missing out on growing and being blessed by him? Yes. We totally miss out on his love when we constantly do things our own way.

Maybe you think your relationship is great and that is awesome, but there is always room for more love and growth. However, if you are in a current relationship and things are not so “picture perfect” then you as well as everyone else need to freally understand and experience God’s love. God’s love will become the center of your earthly relationships, and because his love endures all it will help you maintain a joyful an healthy relationship.

Do you truly understand God’s love for you ?

When my heart is wholeheartedly into something I am totally and completely committed, and I put all of my energy along with my time into whoever or whatever it might be. When my heart is in, my feelings grow stronger because of the time that I persistently and passionately invest my time into that thing or person. Once we are wholeheartedly into whatever it might be a relationship, sport, project, mission trip, ect, usually obstacles come our way; however, I do not ever back down when issues arise because I am wholeheartedly in and want the best results for my outcome.

I stand up for what I believe in. ( with all your soul)

I fight for what my heart is in. (all your strength)

Are you IN and committed to a wholehearted relationship with Christ ?

Or ask yourself this question:

are there things holding me back from being in love with GOD?

Living for yourself

Pleasing people instead of God

Trying to fill our needs the way we see best fit

The bottom line is, if we stick to our ways we will not grow to love or be IN love with Christ.

So how do understand and experience God’s love?

First we must understand his character and what he did for us through the cross.

God is love, and he sent his one and only Son to die for you. Jesus willfully submitted to take on an earthly life. He took on our sin, shame, and dealt with all of our mess with a pure heart. He did not grow bitter because he had to carry the weight of our heavy SIN, instead he willfully submitted to his Father’s plan. Jesus did not have an easy life during his time on Earth,” There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected—A man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.” Isaiah 53:2-3 Jesus took on all of our weaknesses; so therefore, when we call to him in our pain he knows how it feels and where we are coming from. WOW, that is love right there. Would you do that for someone ?!

MY understanding of his love is radically moved by this verse, Isaiah 53:10,“But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief.”

WHHHYYYY?

Do not miss this--

The verse goes on to say; “Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants”

You have to trust God to be IN LOVE, that is a huge key. Our hearts must be open to understanding this great love.

SO YOU AND I COULD LIVE OUT OUR LIVES AND BE FREE FROM SIN THROUGH FORGIVENESS, AND HAVE THE CHANCE TO HAVE ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN!!!!!

Trust in God.

Build your relationship daily with God.

Fall in Love.

You will produce good fruits.

Your earthy relationships will align perfectly, whether you are in one now or waiting.

I love you all !!

Jess

How to Love

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet girls!  I (Nicole) hope that today, no matter if you have a Valentine or not, you can reflect on all the love in your life.  There is so much to be thankful for, friends!

To continue on in our series about relationships, today’s post is about love.  There are so many different posts I could have written about love, but I wanted to highlight something that I think is of great importance.

Love languages.

If you’ve never heard of Gary Chapman’s book, you need to get right on Amazon and buy you a copy (they even make one for singles!)  The Five Love Languages is such a great read if you want to love your significant other as well as you can… which, I am guessing you do!  This book highlights five main love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch).  For me, receiving gifts doesn’t fill my “love tank” as much as words of affirmation.  Personally, I respond the most to sweet words.  I would much rather get a love letter from my guy or get a sweet text from a friend than get little gifts every now and then.

Why are love languages important?

Knowing your love language allows you to verbalize with your loved ones how you receive their love and knowing your partner’s love language allows you to love them in the way they receive love best. 

Knowing each other’s love languages will make a huge difference in your relationship.  When you learn how your husband or boyfriend receives loves the best, you will learn how best to fill his “love tank”.  In the same way, the more that your man knows your love language, the more that he is able to love you in the way that you feel best.

Want to know more about the love languages?

Visit the website HERE!

Don't Compare

I hope y'all are enjoying our relationship series so far! This has been such a blessing to the four of us already, and we are so excited to see where God continues to lead us. I hope you will continue to follow us, and I pray that He is also speaking to you!

I am the married one among the fearless four. My husband, Josh, and I got married in May 2011, so we are still newlyweds. As we have spent the last 9 months together, God has taught me a lot about being a wife. Being a wife and girlfriend is something that is so special because we are responsible for building our men up. We are the "helpers" if you will, and we are the encouragers.

Something else that I have learned along the way is this: Every relationship is different.

This is something that we must all learn and remember constantly. How many times have you found yourself comparing you and your husband to others around you? Maybe you saw someone's status about their husband/boyfriend bringing home flowers, or they were surprised them with a weekend get away, or your friend on facebook posted pictures of their fairytale engagement. There are so many scenarios where you could look at someone else and become jealous. 

That is a dangerous place friends. Satan will take that jealousy and run with it. He will see the opportunity to increase your negativity in situations and then will bust the door down trying to make it even worse.

Let me encourage you to not go there. Don't compare your relationship with your husband/boyfriend with anyone else. Every single person is different. Every situation is different. Everyone feels loved in a different way. You can't get caught up in wishing and hoping your husband/boyfriend would do "that" for you. 

Instead, be thankful for what they do each and every day. Be thankful for that sweet smile they have on their face when you see one other. Be thankful when they randomly take you to eat somewhere, even it's McDonalds! Don't take those moments for granted because that's when you know that they care. It's when they consistently do things to show their love that you know they really do love you.

I saw this on Pinterest...

Don't let comparison steal your joy!

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that... Don't compare yourself with others." Galations 6:4 (Msg)

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Savannah 

God's Promises

Contentment.

This is a word that is far far far from how I (Jamie) am feeling. And I'm sure some of you can relate.

I tell the world "I'm okay, I don't want to be married yet anyway..."

Truth is.. I want to be married MORE than anything.

I want to be proposed to.

I WANT TO BE STRESSED OUT trying to plan my wedding.

I want to marry the man who God chose especially for me.

I want to go on a honeymoon.

I want to buy a house and DO LIFE with my husband.

I want to have kids and grow old with my best friend.

I want all of that..yet I can't have it yet.

So it makes me bitter.

It makes me mad.

It makes me think it will never happen.

WHY is it so hard to just be content with the status of our relationships? Whether we're single, have a boyfriend, are engaged, or married it seems like we're always waiting on the "next step."

"When will I find a boyfriend?"

"When will he propose?"

"When will we get married?

"When will we have babies?"

Lately I have really felt the enemy invading my relationship with Adam and making me think it was NEVER going to happen for us.

 Then I started wondering why I am so concerned with something that deep down in my heart I know that God will take care of? Why can I not just trust His plan for my life...? 

I believe in God and all of His promises.

So if God is who He says He is and can do what He has promised why am I so worried?

Why can I not just be content with the NOW?

As I was reading my bible I came across this verse that made my heart happy and made me understand that God's got this.. 

"And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of HIS glory in Christ Jesus" {Philipians 4:19}

According to the riches of HIS glory... not my glory, not your glory, but HIS. 

It's not easy to be okay with where you are in life, there are ALWAYS going to be times where you're waiting on the next step. but there will also be times when you are SO content and SO happy that you don't want the next step to come. 

Just hold on. Trust God. And understand that He WILL meet all of your needs. But He will meet them in HIS time. As long as Jesus is your main focus and you love Him more than anyone or anything you will be okay : ) 

Sometimes we all just need a little reminder that we're not in control.

Hang on

I (Jess) am so happy to be back on the blog with y'all !!! I am the single one of the bunch, and today I am just going to share with you all what God has been teaching me about trusting in him, which has helped my relationship with the Lord grow tremendously. I am learning that being single is not the easiest boat to be in because lets face it we all desire to be loved. I have learned that the key is to always put God first in your life, and do not fill your heart with anything but his love. That can be hard because as humans we desire to be accepted and loved by someone who is tangible. Very often, we turn our focus off of God because we want to feel loved by people that can give us a hug/kiss, audibly speak to us, spend quality time with us, and the list goes on and on. If you constantly seek satisfaction in what is to come you are missing out on so much when we do not fully trust that God's love is enough to quench our desire, in the book of Jeremiah we find a promise that changes everything for the better, " For I know the plans that I have for you" declares the Lord, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future of hope." We should all rest assured in that promise, and continue on being completely content every day, but it's not that easy is it? It takes work to trust completely in the Lord.

Before I was walking with the Lord and pursuing a relationship with Him, my mindset was not focused on Him, instead I was determined to quench my desire for love through a relationship with a guy. I was the girl who always had a boyfriend.  I was WAY too dependent on those past relationships for satisfaction. I did not know who I was in Christ; so therefore, I made my image in the shadow of my relationship with a guy. The truth is that there is no guy that can fully satisfy any loneliness, sadness, brokenness that you may be feeling, but Jesus can take care of it all and show love to you. I knew that Jesus wanted to care for and express His to love me, but I continued to put him on the back burner because I was living for what brought immediate comfort. However, my plan for a quick fix to my thirsting desire for love always left me empty and lonely. I was missing the one real and true relationship, that could fulfill my feelings of loneliness, sadness, and brokenness.

 I knew that God was pushing me to let go and let Him take control of my life, but I was scared to leave the relationship. Finally, after God did some major pushing on my heart  I  let go.

Since then it has been quite a journey, only because I did not completely turn to God after the breakup. I began to try to seek out other relationships none of which turned into anything. 

EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT TURN TO GOD, HE STILL KEPT ME AWAY FROM THE DANGER OF FALLING INTO ANOTHER UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP !!! 

THAT IS GRACE.

After many hardships that I faced in my life due to my own poor choices, I  completely surrendered to God.  I admitted that I could no longer face the journey alone. 

I was weak.

I had to take responsibility for my life.

I let go of all my regrets, fears, and burdens and LET GOD take full control.

God began making it clear that He wanted to start rebuilding our relationship, and I acknowledged that no guy could fill my heart the way Jesus Christ was filling me up. 

Some of you do not have stories anything like mine. Many of you have kept your life on the righteous path for quite sometime now, but you are still waiting for the Lord to bring the guy into your life, right ? I know how tough waiting can be for us, but you are waiting for a reason and God is going to bless you for being obedient and faithful to Him.


Don't lose hope, and this is the reason why,
"O Lord, how long will you forget me? FOREVER?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will the enemy have the upper hand ?


  [here is the key]


But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me."


Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6

If you dwell on what is missing in your life then you are not showing that you trust God because you are seeking another relationship to satisfy your thirst for love. You must focus your thoughts on Jesus when your heart and mind grow weary and tired of waiting because there is no need in seeking the "right guy" when God has promised us good. Also, remember that trying make a relationship work out the way you want and force it into play is only going to set you back further; so therefore, just hang onto your faith very tightly, and trust that God has not forgotten about you or the amazing guy that you will be with one day. You will be amazed with what he can do in your life when you let go of your own desires and let him fill you with his unfailing love.

If you are single right now and waiting just know that you will be ready for the relationship because you gave God time to prepare your heart. There will be no doubt about how to incorporate Christ into the center of the relationship because you both will have waited on each other, which means you both have put your trust in God to bring you together. Your trust in Him will be deeply rooted in that relationship, which will be be most solid foundation that that you could ever ask for !!
 the love that you both have for Jesus will be amazing--HANG ON, sweet girls !!!

Keep turning your thoughts to Jesus, and focusing on the present with solid assurance in God's timing for your future man! Your day is coming but you have to trust in THE ONE relationship that matters the most ! 


With love,
Jess